So, Lil Wayne is performing in Greenville (40 minutes from my town) this Saturday and I am most definetely going!  The tickets are quite expensive (50 dollars-regular and 60 dollars-vip), but hey, it's Lil Wayne!  I'm really excited.  I know what you guys are thinking "oh great, another "scene kid" (which I am NOT) pretending to like rap and blahblahblah", but you're wrong.  I love all different types of music.  AAAHHHGHHHHG!!!!!  I JUST SMASHED MY FUCKING FINGER.  Damnnnn that hurt.  =[ =[ =[  Anyway...(several painful minutes later)...as I was saying, I listen to a wide range of music.  Most of the time I listen to: indie, breakbeats/old skool, techno, grindcore, bluegrass, jazz, country (yes, country), and the occasional rap.  Lil Wayne just seems unique to me as a rapper.  I mean, maybe not to some of you that don't actually get into his music, but if you really pay attention, he seems to rap about some real, deep stuff.  And he has this unique voice that I love.  Hahaha.

Anyway, today has been pretty lame.  I woke up at 9 AM and ate breakfast, watched some cartoons, then one of my mom's friends called me and wanted me to babysit for her, since I had no real plans for today.  So..that's what I'm doing now.  He's asleep, finally. ^_^  He's only 5 months old and normally I don't think babies are cute, but he's adorableee.  He's part Hawaiin/part American/part Chinese and his name is Lok.  Very unique. =]  But I am sooo tired.  I'm not good with kids..I hate "baby-talk" and hearing them cry..I get all nervous and stuff.  But I do the best I can.  Plus, I really need the money right now.  I was working with my dad at our family owned hardware store, but it was lame and I don't like having to be around my family all the time.  So I've applied at the local Subway, and I asked around at a pet store and a vet's office, but they didn't need any help.  I really would love to do something with animals, though.  My dream is to be a veterinarian.  I know I could do it.  I've been around animals all my life and I'm really good at taking care of them.  I've had every kind of pet you could imagine, haha (not literally, but yeah).  I just need to do some volunteer work and get more hands-on experience.  I wanna go to community college for a couple years first to get the hang of things, but after that I'm hoping to transfer to NC State University in Raleigh--they have one of the best vet schools around.  My dad says he has to see me take on a full-time job and see me be "responsible" before he'll pay for me to go to any college right now.  So I'm gonna work hard to show him I can do it, cause I want to fulfill my dream.

*Sigh* I think the baby's waking up, so this is it for now.  Later guys.

I cried harder than I've ever cried in my entire life last night.
It's beginning to become natural to me.  Crying myself to sleep every night.
Life just keeps on getting colder.  What's wrong with me?

"No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more.
I keep my hand in the fire;
Sooner or later I'll get what I’m asking for.

No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed.
The truth is a stranger.
My soul is in danger--I gotta let my spirit be free
to admit that I’m wrong, and then change my mind.
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind.

I can’t waste time, so give it a moment.
I realized nothings broken.
No need to worry about everything I’ve done.
I live every second like it was my last one.
Don’t look back, I've got a new direction.
I loved you once--needed protection.
You’re still a part of everything I do.
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo.
Just like a tattoo, I’ll always have you."


I've finally realized that I've got to move on.  He broke my heart.  He was the only person I've ever loved.  It's hard.  And it's been over for months now.  It's time to get OVER it.  It's just so hard. :/  I used to think people who hurt over love were stupid, but now that I know how it feels, I understand.  Having your heart broken is quite possibly the most painful thing one could go through.  I've been through so much pain emotionally and physically, and none of it hurt as much as having my heart broken.  Blah.  I sound so pathetic.  But actually, I'm glad it's over.  Even though I loved him, I'm better off without him.  I was always stressed out because he was so confusing.  I don't need that.  I know everything happens for a reason, and I know God works in mysterious ways, so I know God has a plan for it all.  On another note, I am really really happy with my "new" boyfriend.  We've been friends for such a long time, and even went through a period of hating eachother, and now we're together.  It's ironic, but hey, like I said, everything happens for a reason.  He's a really great person.  It takes alot for me to actually date someone, because I'm very picky and very weird about dating because I have serious trust issues.  But with Patrick (boyfriend), I already trust him because I've known him for a long time, and just the few days we've been together have already been great.  He's affectionate, but also gives me my space.  He's not always all up on me and he's not clingy.  I hateHATEhate clingy people.  They drive me up the motherfucking wall.  Plus, Patrick gets me.  We're like really good friends, and we're dating.  So it's just..cool.  I really am happy with him, and it takes alot for me to be completely happy with someone.  Especcially this soon.
But anyway, these past two weekends/weeks have been pretty awesome.  A buncha my friends came over Thursday night and we all drank on my front porch and just chilled in our pj's.  It was great.  I'd rather drink at my house and with my close friends than drinking publicly and making a fool of myself, ya know?  It's so chill at home.  Life has just been really good lately.  My group of friends are finally getting along again.  For a while there was so much damn drama between everyone for various stupid reasons.  And now everyone has worked out their differences and we can all chill again.  I missed my old friends, man.  
Damn, for someone who hates writing about her life, I sure have written alot tonight.  Hah.  I know I'm pretty lame, but hopefully you guys found something in my long explanation of lameness interesting.  But for now, I think I'm gonna get some sleep.  I really wanna go to church tomorrow.  I haven't been in a couple months, and I feel horrible. >.<  I have God in my heart, but I just feel like something's missing.  I need more, I guess.
But enough typing for one journal entry.  Later guys!  ^_^

1.What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
"I'm ready to go home."
2. How did you do on the last test you took?
I don't know, because I haven't gotten my final report card back with my exam grades.
3. What is your ringtone for when people text you?
I don't get texting on my phone.  It's lame.
4. What show did you last watch?
Fresh Prince of Bel-aire.
5. What time is it?
11:31 PM.
6. What foods make you sick?
Gummi bears.
7. Do you get shy around the guy/girl you like?
Yessss.
8. Do you remember what you were doing a year ago?
Yeah.  I was anorexic.
9. Name one thing you like and one thing you hate about yourself?
I hate my face.
10. Do you have family problems?
Yeah, who doesn't?
11. Where are most people in your top from?
Around NC.
12. What was the last meal you ate?
Thanksgiving meal yesterday afternoon.
13. Who are there pictures of in the room you're currently in?
Me and my sister, my friend Sarah, me and my friend Blair, me and my grandma, my grandma and grandpa, me and my friend Blake, Joe Jonas, Kurt Cobain, Johnny Depp, tons of pictures of models and bands in a collage.
14. Name one thing people think about you that's not true?
I really do have alot of problems.
15. Do you give special ringtones to certain people?
Sometimes.  I make sure they correspond well with that person.
16. What's the weather like outside?
Really cold and clear.
17. Have you ever seen a 3D movie in theaters?
Not really, but I went to a planetarium once and watched a 3D film about the planets and earth and whatnot.
18. How was your last relationship?
It sucked.  He was too young for me, too immature, and was full of shit.
19. Where'd you get everything that you're wearing?
Shirt - It's a shirt for my highschool, so I probably bought it at a home football game or something.
Pajama pants - They're Patrick's. ^_^
Socks - They're Amber's.  Hehe.  I just realized I have alot of my friends' clothes.
Underwear - American Eagle.
20. Do you text with T9-Word or ABC?
I don't text.
21. Have you memorized your social security number?
Yes, finally.
22. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
Yes.
23. What was the last advice you gave someone?
I told my friend Kristen to do what makes her happy and to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.
24. What radio station do you listen to the most?
I don't really listen to the radio.
25. What was your worst grade last quarter?
I got a C.
26. Are you on youtube?
No.  It's not really all that great.
27. What do you think about the person that last texted you?
I DON'T TEXT.
28. What does the last text say in your inbox?
UGHHHHHHHH.
29. And who is that from?
...
30. How do you like your school?
I graduated from highschool early last month. ^_^  I hated my highschool.
31. What's the last food you ate that was stale?
Cereal, I think.
32. Do you like to start rumors?
No.  And I want to fucking punch people who start rumors.  They obviously have nothing better to do.
32. Who will you never forget?
Shane.
33. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
Not really.
34. What are you afraid of?
Deep water, spiders, never being able to fall in love again.
35. What do you look for in a relationship?
They need to be honest, reliable, understanding, not judgemental.
36. Would you ever consider having a relationship with your best friend?
No.
37. What piercings do you want to get?
I don't want anymore piercings.  I have one in both my ears, and my septum pierced.  That's all I want.
38. Have your friends ever seen you cry?
Duh.
39. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Probably my mom.
40. Can you do a push-up?
Yes.
41. Have you ever had a panic attack?
Yes.
42. Name the last time you got really anxious.
Earlier tonight.
43. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown?
I live in my hometown now.
44. Describe your laugh.
Kinda loud and funny?  Hah.
45. How did you meet the last person you kissed?
I met him at my highschool when I was in 10th grade.  He was in 9th.
46. Are you currently going out with that person?
Yes.
47. Can you do the Crank Dat dance?
Haha, yeah.  Who can't?  It's "all the rage."  Psh.
48. Who sings the song you last sang?
Tegan and Sara.
49. Have you ever modeled for anything?
Yes.
50. Plans for this weekend?
Tonight me and some friends went out to eat, and then hung out at my house.  I went to a party, but left after 10 minutes of being there.  Tomorrow I'm hanging out with my friend Scott.  We're planning on going vintage shopping and getting ice cream from Coldstone.
51. How was last weekend?
It was pretty righteous.  I hung out with a few friends.  Got high.  And hung out with Patrick.
52. Have you ever been to California?
No.
53. How about New York City?
Yeahh.
54. What's your favorite color to wear?
Blue, I think.
55. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.  Once.

YOUR BATHROOM:
Whats your favriote thing in your bathroom? The shower.
What color is your hair brush? Green.
Favriote Brand of Makeup? MAC and NARS.
What makeup do you usually wear? Most days I'm too lazy to do much makeup, so I normally just wear foundation, powder, blush, neutral eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara.  Some days I go all out and do colorful eyeshadow, winged liner, etc.
How long does it take you to take a shower?  Usually about 20 minutes, cause I'm usually cold in the morning and like the feeling of the hot water. ^_^
What kind of shampoo/conditoner do you use? Usually Loreal (I think?) Color Vive.
Describe your makeup bag? Obviously full of the things I mentioned above, pretty much.
Do you pluck your eyebrows? Yes.
What kind of stuff do you put in your hair? Citre Shine, and occasionally hairspray.
Do you own a straight iron? Yes.
Do you keep your bathroom clean? Yes, with the exception of my strewn makeup area.

YOUR CLOSET:
How many pairs of shoes do you own? Alot.
What are your favriote pairs of shoes? My flats from Old Navy, my Converse, my black stiletto boots.
Walk in closet? No.  I barely use my closet.  That's what drawers are for.
Describe your closet? Um..piled with junk.
How many pairs of underwear do you have? Not very many.  I have a few pairs from American Eagle and Victoria's Secret.
Do you have sexy lingerie? Not really.  I have like one thong that I never wear.
Do you have a secret door in your closet? No?

YOUR ROOM:
What does your bed look like? Black bed spread, with red trim.  Antique bed frame/head board.
What stuff do you have on your wall? Behind my bed there is a huge magazine collage, mostly of models and such.  On my closet door, there's a poster of Joe from The Jonas Brothers (He's so fine, haha) and also a picture of a tiger (They're so beautiful).  On one door, there is a Hello Kitty magnetic board with pictures of my friends and I, and also Norma Jean pictures and a poster I made dedicated to Salvador Dali.  On the other door, I have a poster of Janis Joplin.  Above my mirror, I have a big poster of Kurt Cobain.  And beside my bed I have a poster I made with inspirational quotes on it.
Are there lots of pictures? In the collage, yes.
Is your room big? It's just right.
Do you have a fan in there? No, fans are annoying.
Whats on your nightstand?  My stereo, my medicine holder, my cellphone, a trinket box, and a bottle of Vitamin Water.
Wat color is your room? The walls are some expensive wood panelling my parents put up in the whole second story of our house.  Our house is antique-inspired, so it's relevant.
What all is in it? Bed, 2 dressers, an antique wardrobe, tv, DVD player, desk, Hello Kitty stuff, Living Dead Dolls collection, stereo, stuffed animals, my grandfather's trunk from when he served in the army.

YOUR PURSE:
What kind of purse do you carry at the moment? A bag that says "I love my planet" on it.
Name Everything in your purse? Um..my Emily the Strange wallet, cosmetic bag labeled "My lipgloss is poppin'" (lame), keys, some batteries, some candy, hairspray, big sunglasses, Hello Kitty pez dispenser, Hello Kitty mirror, powder compact, etc.
What does the inside look like? A mess.
What do your checks look like? Generic.
What is the next purse you plan on getting? I have better things to do than plan the next purse I'm going to get.
The last thing you put in your purse is? Some coins, probably.
Something you carry in your purse that most people don't? Hello Kitty pez dispenser. ^_^
Name a purse "pet peeve"? When it gets overwhelmingly full and heavy.

YOUR LOVE LIFE:
Boyfriends name? Nonexistant.
How long have you been together?
How did you meet? 
How far apart do you live from each other?
Name some stuff you do together?
What was your last fight about? 
The last thing you laughed at together? 
Last movie watched together? 
How does he make u feel? 
How do you make him feel? 
Do you share anything with each other?

YOUR PHONE :
What service do you have? Altell.
Phone?  Motorola Krazr.  I hate it.
Whats the next phone you plan on getting? I don't know.
Why? ...
Do you live your phone? This question makes no sense.
Why? ...
Whats your favriote thing to do on it? Um..talk?
Your ringtone is? Lil Wayne.
Why did you pick this ringtone? Because Lil Wayne is amazing.
How big is your phone? It's pretty small, and thin.
Do you like little phones or big phones? Little, I guess.
Whats your background picture of? Myself. =/
Last missed call? Amber.
Last recieved call? Tamberly.
Last person you dialed ? Amber.
Last txt and from who? I don't have texting.  It's lame.

WORK:
Where do you work? My family's hardware store.
Where is it located? Right down the road from my house.
How close do you live to your work? Not even 3 minutes.
Who are your favriote people to work with? The old guys, Diesel and Sammie.
Do you deal with staples? Huh?
What do you do at work? Stock shelves, rearrange things, clean.
Do you love, like or hate the people you work with? I love everyone I work with.
Do you make alot? Yes.
Overall, do you like your job? Yes.

MOVIE:
Last movie you baught? I haven't bought a movie in a while, but the movie I watched was Forrest Gump.  I love that movie!
Did you watch it yet? Yes.
Who'd you watch it with? Patrick.
Name a really girly movie that you love? The Notebook.
Whos your favriote character in that movie? Noah.

RANDOM:
What would you never leave the house without? Money, I guess?
What movie would you never get tierd of? The Notebook.
Do you paint your fingernails or toenails? Rarely, but sometimes I do.
What do you hate about fingernail polish? It's so annoying when it gets lumpy or when it gets in the creases of my fingernails.
When you were younger, what was your worst beauty mistake? Everything.
Describe your hair: Black on one side, with a streak of platinum blonde, and platinum blonde on the other side, with a coontail streak.  It's cut A-line and A-symmetrical, and is above my shoulders.
Would you have plastic surgery? Yes.
What are you doing tonight? Lying in bed.
What did you do last night? Went to a party with friends.  Got high.
What do you hear right now?  Silence.
Smell? The air.
See? Computer screen.
What are you wearing? Green Alesana tshirt, and Simpsons pj pants.
When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? I've always wanted to be a veterinarian.
Do you shop at Hollister? There's not really one around here.  I like their clothes though.
Abecerombie? Not one around here.
Guess? Never been there.
Express? Yes!  That's where I buy my jeans--it's the only place that has jeans small enough to fit me.
Last person to send you a message? I don't remember.
What are your plans for tomorrow? Church with Amber, sleep, be lazy.
What's everyone in your house doing? Sleeping.
Do you love getting new messages, picture comments,ect. on myspace? I don't have myspace anymore--I deleted that shit.
What are your favriote Magazines? Seventeen, CosmoGirl, Vogue, Transworld Skateboarding, People, Hair magazines.

Enjoy. ^__^  Comment if you'd like.  I'm going to sleeeep.

 I'm so glad the weather is finally getting colder!  Autumn is the best season of all.  It's so beautiful. ^__^
Halloween was fun this year.  I stayed home with my friend Hilary, my mom, and my sister.  We had a blast.  We carved pumpkins, watched horror movies, and handed out candy.  Sounds lame, yeah, but it was relaxing, which is something I needed.
Other than that, my life has been pretty lame lately.
And I feel pretty stupid writing in this thing since no-one reads it.  I haven't made any new friends on here yet. :/  Haha.  I guess I should start searching.

-Katie xo. 

So this is my first time having a livejournal.  I used to have xanga; but I suppose that got old.  Haha.
I also used to have myspace; but I deleted it.  I was far too addicted, and myspace creates so much damn DRAMA.  I'm much better off without it.  I do, however, need somewhere to rant, talk, etc.  So, here I am!

Anyway, as it turns out, today is also my birthday.  Birthday's are never exciting for me.  The way I see it, it's just another day, another number.  I don't find it special.  Which is rather sad.  But oh well.  It turned out to be a lovely day.  My mother took me out to eat at this really nice Italian restaurant.  I'm a vegetarian, so there wasn't much there that I could eat.  Especcially after the waiter informed me that Ceasar dressing has bits of ANCHOVIES in it (merely for seasoning, he said about 354354534 times), which really grossed me out.  He also told me that some of the sauces they used on pasta, pizza, etc. also had bits of anchovies in it (MERELY FOR SEASONING--haha).  So I finally decided on cheese pizza, with a special vegetarian sauce that did not include anchovies. (:  I was a happy camper.  Hah.
So yeah, after that exciting experience, my mother and I went to the mall and shopped at Forever 21 (they have the best vintage-based clothes!).  I lovelovelove that store.  I also got some baby blue Nike's.  My first pair!  Haha.  I normally wear ballet flats and Converse.  So, these are a snazzy change for me.

But enough about my boring birthday.  I'd love to meet new livejournal friends!  So, if you find me interesting enough, feel free to add me!  I'll be working on my profile more so that you guys can get somewhat of an idea of who I am and what I'm like.
Other that that, I hope everyone has a lovely night!

-Katie--Mannequin_xo